The Value of Love

(Originally pulbished 09 April, 2009)The following was written by a friend of mine, and I couldn't have said this better myself. I would rather be this kind of rich, than have all the money in the world. Enjoy!
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The Value of Love
By:
Patricia Ann Coleman

“Are we rich mommy?” my eight year old pondered as we made our way through the toy store. I glanced down as he was standing amidst isles of extravagant and fancy gadgets. I contemplated my answer for a moment or two and then happily declared that we indeed are rich. “Then why can’t we buy this?” as he held a new game system in his hands. With heartache I explained we could not afford it. I, as most parent, would love nothing more then to be able to provide my children with all their hearts desires. Though after a messy divorce and starting over ends are extremely hard to meet.

His inquisitiveness turned to confusion as we made our way to the register. “If we are rich then how come we can’t afford it?” he asked perplexed. “What makes a person rich sweetie?” I inquired. At that moment he gazed at me as if I were insane. “Money!” he eagerly explained. The cashier looked up in amusement of his respond. It was at that moment I understood that my sweet son’s ideas of riches were askew.

Explaining the difference would be one of the most important jobs I ,as parent, could ever perform. In this age of immediate gratification and excessive unnecessary possessions, how do you challenge the value of money over the value of love? “Having money is not what makes you rich”, I rationalized as he stared blankly at me. “ Being rich is how you live your life not what you have.” I went on to translate how to determine a persons’ real value. I informed him that the richest people in the world are those who love themselves as well as other. How someone lives and loves is what indeed makes them truly rich.

He looked softly at me, almost as if enlightened by the information, and smiled. “Well then I hope I’m rich when I get older.” Still unsure if he grasped the concept I laid out, I probed for the nature of his hopeful wealth. He fervently stated love. Enjoying the warm feeling within, I confirmed to him that waiting was not necessary. Young, old, boy, girl anyone can possess all the riches in the world. Well you would have thought he won a million dollars when hearing this.

A month later my son had a few friends over to celebrate his birthday. They fluttered around the house as my son showed off his room and toys. Clearing the plates of left over cake and broken balloons I over heard one of the boys state how rich his father is. Pretending not to listen I was surprised to hear my son quiz his buddy over this new found fact. “What does he do?” he began with to which the boy responded quickly. “He works”, he exclaimed. Bewildered my son struck back, “yeah but what does he do?” His friend went silent not understanding the question. “Does he help others, treat people nice, and do all he can to be a good person?” The boy looked down shaking his head no. “Well then I guess my mom is richer than your dad”, he affirmed. They trotted off leaving me standing there in awe.

As I might have thought I taught him a lesson what my son taught me that day was immeasurable. It’s not about having the best game system or that i-pod they think they can’t live without. What kids genuinely need it to be taught the value of love. This Christmas my son wants to volunteer at the soup kitchen, to give our love to others so they may feel as rich as we do. So next time you are battling five other parents for that last Elmo doll ask yourself if that is the lesson you want your child to learn.

THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS!!!

(Originally published 26 June, 2009) Peer pressure: this is such a wonderful term, is it not, especially when it is used to coerce one into bowing to the "will of the pack" or getting one to believe the pack mentality. It is a useful, albiet (more often than not) unethical tool used by many to get others to bow to their will. This "do as I say or else" mentality is pervasive everywhere you look and, sadly, it seems that even the most "ethical" of people are not above stooping to these tactics of mental torture in order to get what they want. Even the strongest of people sometimes buckle beneath the will of the torturer, if the torture goes on long enough. Take, for example, Jean-Luc Picard (Yes, another Star Trek reference.) In the episode shown above (Chain of Command, Part II), he is captured and tortured by the Cardassians in order to gain information on an invasion Picard has no knowledge about. When he truthfully disavows any knowledge of the invasion, he is constantly tortured by his captor in hopes of getting him to break. "How many lights do you see?", his captor constantly asks him, trying to get him to admit that there are five lights, when in fact, there are only four. When Picard answers truthfully that there are only four lights, he is shocked for his insolence and told he is a fool. This continues until, near his breaking point, he is offered a life of confort (if he answers that there are FIVE lights) or a life of endless torture if he continues to defy his captor. Picard is about to give his final answer when guards enter the room and tell him he is free to go, when he stands, turns to face his captor, and says quite vehemently "THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS!, and walks out the door. However, once back upon the Enterprise, he admits that, at the end, when faced with the options, he could actually believe that there were FIVE lights. However, he persisted in his will, despite the potential consequences.

I am like Picard a lot in that aspect. I do not bow easily to the will of the pack, especially when I feel that will goes against my own principles. Oftentimes, people try to bully me into seeing things their way (which incidentally doesn't work) or resort to the "do things my way or else" tactic, which works in their favor even less, because, more often than not, I choose the "or else" path, regardless of the consequences. I have told people quite often (especially lately) that I think for myself. I make my own decisions, and have my own will. Other people rarely have any influence on what I decide, and I think to a point, they resent me for that fact. If I feel something needs to be said, I'll say it, as diplomatically as the situation permits. But regardless, I will not bend to anyone's will when I feel they are wrong. To these people, I say "THERE ARE ***FOUR*** LIGHTS!"

Make It So: Jean-Luc Picard- A Lesson in Leadership

(Originally published 24 June, 2009)It annoys me to no end when I make suggestions on how to improve leadership, and people treat me like I know nothing of what I am talking about and then proceed to either ignore me or try to silence me. For starters, I will clear up any misconceptions that ANYONE has regarding my knowledge or experiences in leadership responsibilities.

1) I have been a "Chapter Commanding Officer" of various Star Trek fan organizations for the past fifteen years. I have organized, and LED people in various activities on the local level, as well as on the international level (Yes, at one point, I even took the reigns of the parent organization for a brief time) and had to LEAD and deal with a LOT of people.

2)Aside from that, I have also taken up various responsibilities at other organizational levels, including handling diplomatic relations with other clubs and organizations, and holding LEADING positions in the clubs' various branches. Therefore, I would say I have plenty of experience (if three years is considered "experienced", then I guess I'm "over-experienced".)

With that being said, I hope people will not be so quick to brush me aside as an "inexperienced upstart" who "knows nothing about what he is talking about."

Now on to the topic of this post: Who did I look to for leadership lessons? The answer is Jean-Luc Picard. Granted, he is a fictional character, but I firmly believe that the writers of Star Trek: The Next Generation, or any other incarnation of Star Trek had to do some research into leadership roles in order to make the show and the plot believable. Jean-Luc Picard was the prime example of a leader. He was always motivated to get the job done, no matter what it took. He was a leader, a diplomat, and probably most importantly fair and respectable to all of those under his command. He rarely faltered, and when he did, he would re-evaluate the situation and correct his mistakes before they led to disaster. He never charged blindly into any situation, nor did he procrastinate when action needed to be taken. He also knew how to properly delegate responsibilities to the appropriate members of his crew in order to get the job done, and done right. The end result was a ship that ran smoothly with little or no conflict or problems of any kind. I looked to Captain Jean-Luc Picard for inspiration whenever a decision had to be made. If conflict arose, I learned to deal with it as diplomatically as possible in order to resolve the issue with the utmost expedience and success. I also learned that different people have different leadership styles, and while no one style is necessarily wrong, some leadership styles are better than others. Using what I've learned, I was able to keep my own "crew" intact, despite differences, for many years (and I continue to do so).

In closing, I highly suggest Make It So: Leadership Lessons From Star Trek, The Next Generation to anyone in any type of leadership position (and it was a church pastor that recommended it to me) as a tool to hone leadership skills. MAKE IT SO!

The Tree of Swords and Jewels (repost from "Fear the AoD")

(Originally published 28 July, 2009) Yet another of my favorite filk songs. This one performed by Heather Alexander, in tribute to The Tree of Swords and Jewels by C.J. Cherryh. Enjoy

Elfquest: The Confrontation

Yet another from A Wolfrider's Reflections. This is the classic confrontation between Strongbow and Winnowill. This is also the first of many posts that I am copying over from my old blog (Fear the AoD) before I delete it (yes, that blog has outlived its usefulness, since I no longer play WoW as frequently as I used to, and the rantings of a night elf turned blood elf turned night elf death knight are no longer of interest.) so... Enjoy.

Just A Short Post

It's been a rather busy, hectic, strange week here. I forgot to mention in my last post that I'm working in a convenience store called Turkey Hill, in fact, it's the same store that I worked at 16 years ago before moving back up to the Erie area in '96. Anyway, things at the store had been in somewhat of a disarray since before I started working there in late May. In the absence of a full manager, the store was being run by an assistant manager who seemed to have somewhat of a "lackadaisical" attitude about things. I noticed from the start a lot of outdated products on the shelves, and started pulling them when I got the chance. I also got hired into a store full of its own brand of drama. One employee seemed content to put all the other employees down, and calling them lazy, fat, etc. and not only saying this to their faces, but to and in front of customers. This caused quite a bit of dissention in the ranks, and being as I am, I tried to remain neutral until said employee tried putting the other employees down in front of me or trying to do the same to me. I wouldn't put up with it, and so I told her, which quickly turned her attitude on to me. About two weeks ago, they brought a new store manager in, and she started trying to get things back in order. Shortly afterward, the assistant manager got fired for neglecting her duties, and we were back to square one with being understaffed. Also, complaints about the one employee started coming in from customers, and a store meeting was held on Monday to "correct" the situation. Since then, the area manager, and other higher ups have been in the store trying to figure out how to get things in order and get the store running as it should. Needless to say, it's been a bit busy, and at times frustrating. Hopefully things get to some semblance of "normalcy" soon.

Back Again and a Contest

So, I've been a bit lax with the blogging. Well, more than a bit lax, but I'm still here. What's new in my life? Well, I am no longer in Erie, PA. We transplanted ourselves to Enola, PA in Early May, and left Erie behind. I can't say I really miss the area there, but there are a few people that I do miss, and hope to get back to visit before too long. I was planning on going back to visit this month for my class reunion (this year is 25 years since I graduated from High School) but lack of fundage and vehicle issues prevented that. Anyway, Things are pretty decent here. I'm closer to family, and it's a nicer area. We live about 3 blocks up from the rail yard, but don't really hear the trains that much, just an occasional whistle or bells, but nothing more. Kat got a job at the local nursing home, making about 1.4 times what she was making in Erie. I got a job working for the same Turkey Hill store I worked at before I moved from LeMoyne 16 years ago. I'm still looking for accounting work, but since we moved at a time when all the recent college graduates were looking for work, I haven't found one yet. Not giving up hope though. I haven't really been doing much gaming lately, as I got bored even with the beta testing of Mists of Pandaria, and Diablo 3 got boring really quick (one can only do the same quests over and over again for too long before it gets old.) Been playing a game online called "Lords of Ultima" (which is supposedly a continuation of sorts of the old Ultima games from the late 80s/early 90s.) It's not really time consuming, and I have time to do other things as well. The weather here has been really HOT of late. Today, I think, is the hottest so far. It's only 97degrees in Harrisburg, but outside my own window, my thermometer was reading 104.3 just an hour ago, and the sun wasn't even shining on it. Storms are supposed to move through later this evening through tomorrow, and cool things off, but until then, we bake. That's all for my update for now. I shall endeavor this time to update on a mor eregular basis. even if it's random thoughts. Now, as promised, my friend Angela Korra'ti is holding a contest to win a free copy of her recently published book, Faerie Blood. There are 2 eBook copies and 2 print copies up for grabs. For your chance/chances of winning, follow the link below: