New Ship!

In time for it's 23rd Anniversary... USS LoPresto NCC-94100-F (Yorktown Class Science Star Cruiser)

Once in a Blogtime

OK, I promised a post, and will try to keep up with this a bit more. Things are still hellishly hectic at work, with no end in sight for the mandatory overtime. Other than work, however, it's been a pretty good year. I gave up on playing World of Warcraft early on in the year because it got a little too expensive to maintain an account, and the game was getting redundant and boring again. I decided to pick up again with Diablo 3 again after five years, and have been playing it quite regularly, to the point where I'm starting to get a bit better at playing it. I'm finally getting higher levels on my current seasonal character, and he's becoming quite kickass.


Thanksgiving was great. My cousin Laurie came down for a couple of days, and brought my sister, Melanie and my grand-niece Lena with her. The family dinner was on Wednesday night, and Laurie made everything. Kat and I were late, thanks to my job not letting me reschedule my shift or letting me leave earlier than 5pm. Regardless, it was a great time, and we had a good time with family catching up on memories, and - thanks to my mom, I acquired a new nickname of "Mudpie".

Now, we're in December, and all the presents (save for a few last minute ones) are already bought and ready to be wrapped. We're doing a secret Santa gift exchange with my co-workers on the 20th. I got the gifts I ordered for my secret Santa partner ordered and should be arriving soon. Also got a few small things to give out to everyone.  I have some pretty awesome co-workers. Without some of them, I think I'd probably be in an insane asylum by now.  Well, that's about it for this post. I know, it's short, and it's boring. I will try to do better in my next post. I'm just a bit exhausted tonight to post more.

And Another Year Goes By (Almost)... [and still no regular posts]

I am still here, but just busy with work, and too tired afterward to post much. Keep watching this space- I promise I will try to post more after the new year, and maybe even to the level of posts that I used to do with my old blog.

quick post... I swear I will try to get back to doing this regularly. been a rough couple of years with mom being in and out of the hospital, and too much mandatory overtime at work. but things (knock on wood) seem to be slowing down enough for me to actually have some semblance of a life again.  started playing STO again recently, and upgraded my main ship some... here's a couple of pics of the refitted USS LoPresto.

with that, I close this post. Hopefully more "fuller bodied" posts to come soon.

Free Spirit Gathering 30: MY Family Reunion.

I know I've been a bit lax with my posts of late, but now that things have slowed down a bit here, the posts should flow a bit more.

This past week, Kat and I attended Free Spirit Gathering #30 in Darlington, MD.  After the past year of forced moves, family losses and other family emergencies, mandatory overtime, and other stuff that made life unpleasant, FSG 30 was a pleasant diversion from the mundane. Although the weather was quite unbearable at times, the whole event was still quite enjoyable.  I had volunteered to help my friend Tom Swiss with the entertainment track this year but ended up being commandeered into assisting Kat with making sure Grandmother Elspeth got to where she needed to be, making sure her booth was tended to while she and her teaching partner, John, presented their classes, etc. The rest of the staff was phenomenal, and it was refreshing to see some of the younger generation helping out this year.  There were some changes this year from years past. One of the most notable was the dining hall fare provided by Harry and the Camp Ramblewood staff. There was a new Sous Chef hired this year, and the meals were a vast improvement. I really wanted to kidnap the cook and bring him home with us- at least for a few weeks. Somehow, the TV dinners we ate upon returning home were blasé compared to what we ate the rest of the week.

Next, there was the entertainment.  David London performed his magic show on Thursday night, right before the bardic circle.  I had seen him at last year's event, but was actually picked to participate this year.  Mr. London's show was fantastic, and enjoyed by all. Immediately following his show was the annual FSG bardic circle. The turnout was a bit smaller than last year, but there were also a few new faces.  Sadly, it was cut short after two rounds so Tom could attend to the fire circle.

Friday night and Saturday was the nights for the highlighters.  First came the main ritual, which was phenomenal in its own right. Those that participated in, or who were an actual part of it, made it equally enjoyable and uplifting.  Following ritual, FSG's own "homegrown" troupe of performers, HVBRIS, took the stage on the ritual lawn. All who were in attendance were awed and amazed by their elite fire-spinning skills. They are one act that I always look forward to each year.


Saturday night, we were gifted with the enchanting music of S.J. Tucker and Betsy Tinney. For those who haven't experienced these ladies' performances, I highly recommend you check out their tour schedule at http://sjtucker.com/. Their music is a delightful mix of folk music, story-telling, and more. And while there was a massively severe storm occurring during the concert, thanks to an unscheduled visit by the remnants of Tropical Storm Bill, these ladies continued to put on a fantastic show for everyone, even going acoustic for a period of time while the sound equipment was shut down as a result of the storm. Oh yes, and an added bonus, during a brief conversation with S.J on Sunday morning, I found out what a tiny, tiny world it really is.  S.J worked with my friend Dara Korra'ti on her Bone Walker CD. WOW!

Last, but not least, I would like to give a shout out to old friends, and new, that made FSG 30 an even more memorable experience. Most notable were the couple that helped us break down our campsite and "schlep" our stuff up the hill to load into the cars, Miles and Snoozpossum. Those two were such a great help, and deserve extra kudos.

Now, we have all returned to our respective homes, and are looking forward to FSG 31 next year.

(A)D&D Musings on 5th Edition and What's to Come (Speculations)

So, Fifth Edition Dungeons and Dragons has been out for about 8 or so months now, and I've had some time to read up on bits and pieces of the new edition, having purchased all but one of the new Core Manuals (Some good friends bought me the new Players Handbook for my birthday last year.), the first two adventure manuals, and preordered the third.  From the looks of it, it looks a lot better than the D20 3rd edition, which was the last I even attempted to buy- That one I looked at, and was so lost by the rules, that I didn't even bother with it again.  This edition looks to be easier to grasp and play, even for beginners, or someone like myself who hasn't played in twenty years, and needs a bit of time to acclimate to the game.  I have also been checking up on release dates or speculations on upcoming modules or campaign settings.  The two I am most eagerly awaiting are Ravenloft and Dragonlance, having spent a lot of time in the "Mists" back when I did play 2nd Edition (a lot of time having my characters turned into vampires, or just go insane in some instances) and also having read approximately 80% of the whole Dragonlance book collection.  Thus far, it looks as if Wizards of the Coast is only going to be releasing two campaigns per year at this point, and there is no definite answer as to when and if those particular campaign settings will be released. So, I wait.

More Than Meets the Eye

Just recently, I purchased the entire DVD collection of one of my staple cartoon shows from my youth, the original Transformers series. Yes, I admit, I was fully around 17 years old when it first aired, but any true geeky person who was alive enough to enjoy the show when it originally aired on TV who claims that they never watched it, or didn't like it, in my opinion, is lying.  I would always get home from school and rush through my chores and whatever homework I had so I could watch it when it came on at 4pm.  I even collected some of the figures, some of which I still have somewhere. But I digress, as that is not the topic of this post.

As I was watching the first disc in the set, and singing along to the opening theme like a total geekwad, it occurred to me that we are all like the Transformers in that there is more to each of us than meets the eye. Think about it. Each one of us has an outer persona that everybody sees, regardless of who we encounter. That persona is what we put forward, our front, so to speak. However, there is always more below the surface that people do NOT see. That is our innermost being, those things we either do not share at all, or share with a select few people. That underlying identity can hide many things, from past trauma, to secret desires, fears, dreams, etc.  What we choose to share from this "hidden" persona depends mainly on who we trust enough not to use that information against us. In my case, it's usually only close friends and family members that I share my inner-being with.

Sometimes, that outer facade cracks, or fails, and what is kept hidden is revealed. Sometimes, this is a good thing, but more often than not, it is not. Take, for example, the leader who puts on an outer facade of fairness, honesty, and integrity. That facade fails to reveal someone who is completely opposite of what was put forward for everyone to see, and he is revealed to be unfair, unjust, completely dishonest, and has no moral integrity at all. What happens then?  Said leader will most likely keep the weaker-minded followers (let's call them the sheep), but lose those who are able to think for themselves and see him for the fraud that he really is. Always keep in mind when dealing with people that there really is MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE.

And the Winners Are....

Thanks to those who participated in the Faerie Blood/Bone Walker giveaway.  Though it didn't generate as many responses as I thought it might, I still think it got the word out enough to help support Dara and Anna.  Anyway, I will dispense with the babble and get on with the announcement.  Along with the help of my best bud, Raistlin, and my little buddy, Dude, (who each batted a name out of the bowl) the winners were decided as follows:

The winner of the Books/CD bundle is Dria Howlett.
The winner of the digital books is E Susan Baugh.

Dria, I will pass your information on to Anna so the books can be mailed to you this week.
Susan, please leave a comment with your email, so I can pass it on to Anna and make arrangement for payment.

And special thanks to Kat for throwing her hat in the ring to help get the ball rolling. She got copies of the book and CD for her birthday, and is enjoying them. (though she bought the digital copies so her books wouldn't get crinkled.)

A Completely Unsolicited Review of "Bone Walker" by Angela Korra'ti



Once again, I was not disappointed by the talents of my friend, when I opened my copy of her latest book, Bone Walker. From the first chapter until the last, it was a never-ending experience full of adventure, intrigue, and suspense. Bone Walker picks up shortly after the events of Faerie Blood, with our two main heroes, Kendis Thompson and Christopher MacSimidh, enjoying an outdoor concert in a Seattle park. With the sudden, and quite unexpected appearance of a somewhat battered unseelie bard, things rapidly get out of hand, and draw our heroes and their friends into a battle of life or death for them and those around them, no thanks to the queen of the unseelie court, and the ghost of an unseelie mage that is out to destroy not just them, but the entire west coast if she can.  The usual mix of elves, kitsune, warders, and non-magic-using humans joined by a family of nogitsune and a dragon child in trying to destroy the bone walker, keep a city from being destroyed, and restore order. To sum it up, Bone Walker is a roller coaster ride for the imagination. Ms. Korra'ti succeeds in holding the reader's attention through a variety of twists and turns and wrapping it all up neatly at the end.  I give Bone Walker five stars, and recommend it to any fan of urban fantasy.

Second Star to the Right, and Straight On 'Til Morning. Farewell, Spock!

It saddens me to report that one of the most iconic figures in the entire Star Trek universe has passed away.  It was reported this morning that Mr. Leonard Nimoy, the actor who portrayed the pointy-eared vulcan, Mr. Spock, on the original 1960s TV series, motion pictures, and various appearances in later series, as well as cameos on other television shows, has passed away at the age of 83 due to complications from end stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Mr. Nimoy had been a heavy smoker up until three decades ago, and verified a year ago the diagnosis. He was hospitalized earlier in the week, and though at that point, I sort of expected his passing, it still hits me hard.  I was at work when one of my co-workers out of the blue, assuming that I had already heard the news, asked how I was. Thinking he was asking if I was over the cold I had been fighting for the past few days, I said I was feeling a little better. When he asked if I'd heard of Mr. Nimoy's passing, it was as if I had swallowed a rock. I admit, I expected it, but it hit me hard none-the-less. I had to fight back the tears and felt myself choking on them the rest of the day. Since I have no access to social media at my job, I had to rely on the internet during my breaks to get as much information as I could. I read statements from former cast-members and fans alike, but I think the most touching was the tribute left by Wil Wheaton on his site:

Mister Spock made it okay for me to be the weird kid who eventually grew into a slightly-less weird adult, but it was Leonard Nimoy who made Mister Spock live, and who made Star Trek — and every science fiction TV series since 1966 — possible.

Thank you, Leonard, for making it okay to be me, and for making it possible for me to explore brave new worlds, and boldly go where you had gone before. I wish I’d gotten to know you the way so many others did, because everyone says you were as awesome and wonderful as I hoped you would be. Rest in peace, sir.

Mr. Nimoy was preceded in death by fellow cast members DeForrest Kelley, James Doohan, Mark Leonard, Majel Barrett Roddenberry, and the show's creator, Gene Roddenberry.  This leaves only William Shatner, George Takei, Nichelle Nichols, and Walter Koenig of the original series cast.  Mr. Nimoy will be missed by Trekkers old and new alike.  Fly with the Great Bird, Mr. Spock.

An Interview with Dara Korra'ti of Crime and the Forces of Evil

Hey, readers! I'm Dara, a.k.a Solarbird the Lightbringer of Crime and the Forces of Evil, and the Dark Side of the Glass people have thrown me a bunch of interview questions. It's almost like an interview, and also totally different! So let's go:

1) Tell our readers a bit about yourself (ie. Where are you from? Significant life experiences that led to where you are now? Occupation(s)? Talents? Anything else you can think of...)

• From: Well, honestly, I don't know. Mars has been suggested, but I think we all know better than that, unless you mean the Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars Mars, in which case it still seems pretty unlikely. Maybe I'm a Jupiter Spy and don't even know it. If so: goddamn I'm good.
• Life: What it says on the tin. Superhero turned supervillain when the world turned around on me. Our supervillains won, and now we have the police state and the surveillance state and the endless war state and all that, and all that's now "good" somehow, and since most humans follow power - it's what you do - then opposing it makes you a traitor. "You speak treason!" "Fluently."
• Occupations: Supervillain, musician. Software developer and genetics researcher, but see also: supervillain. This thing is turning into a resume. I should make a resume generator. Or destroyer. "Life experiences: orbital heat rays ARE LIFE EXPERIENCES." Is that how this works?
• Talents: Really good at the heat ray thing; I can kill you with my brain; technical writing; glass sculpture that invites you to touch it but hurts you if you do; finding really terrible movies and passing them on to Drs. Forrester and Erhardt; triggering really hilarious IBM Urgent Service Bulletins; graphic design; bodhran; irish bouzouki; bass guitar; mandolin; flute; flutemaking; putting resumes through shredders.

2) How long have you been performing, and how did Crime and the Forces of Evil come to be?

I was sorta-kinda in a band called... no, that's not right, I was in a sorta-kinda band, that's right, called Three Good Measures, in the early 2000s. It was mostly a Great Big Sea cover band, but we dropped a few tracks on the net, the best absolutely being a cover of Billy Bragg's "You Woke Up My Neighbourhood." 

But getting serious about it is actually Alexander James Adams's fault. We met in 2006 and hit it off, and I was a at a show of his a few years later and during the meet-and-greet after, kind of out of nowhere, he spun round to me and said, "Dara, you have got to be doing this." My reaction, of course, was "You are so high." But, well, now here we are.

3) How many CDs have you released thus far?

TGM actually kind of had an EP (Duck!) but it wasn't released so that doesn't count, and that wasn't in any way my band - I was just the flautist. So... 

Crime and the Forces of Evil's first EP was a short set called Sketchy Characters, done pretty much as a demo and to have something for an event. I also put out a solo effort, Live from Mars, solely because I played The Mars Bar in Seattle and realised this meant I could have a live EP that was legitimately from Mars. Just, you know, not that Mars. 

Then we got our act together and put out a studio full-length, Dick Tracy Must Die, in 2011. We built our own studio for that, and I taught myself engineering. If you're into that sort of DIY, you can check out the series of columns I wrote on it here.
After that, we did a song-of-the-month project that turned into Cracksman Betty. Since then, a couple of singles, like "Kaiju Meat," and now the new album, Bone Walker.

4) What style(s) of music do you perform?

I called the Dick Tracy material "rage-driven acoustic elfmetal." And that's how I think of my original material, for the most part. The idea is: elves heard metal, thought THIS IS AWESOME WE CAN DO THIS and started doing it, with instruments on-hand. Hence Fake Drumkits made of hand drums, grinding Irish bouzoukis, and so on. This new album has a bit of that on it - particularly "Something's Coming" and "Anarchy Now!" - but it's mostly neoCeltic.

5) How fast has your fame (or infamy) spread since you started performing?

Well, we're here, that's a start. ^_^

6) Any other comments, insight, words of wisdom, etc.?

Everything becomes a racket, eventually. Everything.

7) Final question. How do you feel? :)

I FEEL LIKE PARTYING WITH SOME KLINGONS. WHO'S WITH ME?

The Student Loan Debt Forgiveness Scam, and How NOT to be Taken In

In the past year, there has been an increasing number of "student loan debt forgiveness" companies advertising their services to unsuspected borrowers, basically advertising that, if you utilize their services, your student loan debt will be completely forgiven, and go by such names as Student Loan Services, Federal Loan Forgiveness, and Student Loan Forgiveness, just to name a few. Let me clue you in on this- it is complete and total poppycock!  Basically, these companies are third party companies that have nothing whatsoever to do with debt forgiveness. They will lure unsuspecting, and more often than not gullible borrowers in by promising total loan forgiveness, all for a fee ranging anywhere from $300 to as high as $1500 or more. Once said fee is received, they will just access your federal student aid information, and attempt to consolidate your loans through the Department of Education with one of the four main Department of Education affiliated servicers. They will also outright promise lower payments without telling you that the lower payments are based on low income requirements, so if you're annual adjusted gross income is above a certain amount, you're basically out of luck. These companies seem to thrive on misleading gullible people into believing something that is not true, and take their money while doing so. More often than not, unsuspecting borrowers find themselves with a consolidation that they did not ask for, and loan payments higher than promised because they do not qualify for the promised lower payments. Said misled borrowers will then call the loan servicing company that the loans were consolidated with, and try to cancel it, but by the time they do, it is too late, as the loans have already been consolidated, and that cannot be undone, therefore, they are stuck with something they did not want.

Also, note, while there are some forms of loan forgiveness that ARE offered through the DoE, they are not instant, and require you to pay back your loans on one of the income driven repayment plans for a certain amount of time (usually 20 to 25 years for regular borrowers, or 10 years for borrowers working in the public service sector.)

Below are a few simple tips to avoid falling into this "loan forgiveness" trap:
1) If you get correspondence from one of these companies, tell them you do not want to commit to anything until you consult with a loan specialist at your loan servicer. More often than not, if you are eligible for consolidation, and lower income driven repayment plans, your servicer will be able to process those for you, and direct you to the department of education website to consolidate your loans, if that is what you want to do. As these servicers and the Department of Education's Federal Student Aid division can provide these services for free, it will save you a lot of money and a lot of grief in the long run.

2) If you continue to get phone calls from said companies that pressure you into using their service, block the number and contact the better busness bureau.

3) If you have been misled into believing these false promises, and have been charged for incomplete or improperly processed services by one of these companies, report them to one of the state or national consumer protection agencies or better business bureau. They should be able to intervene on your behalf, and may be able to get some of your lost money back.

Doing the proper research could save you a lot of trouble in the future.

A Completely Unsolicited Review of "Faerie Blood" by Angela Korra'ti

I first bought this book, direct from the author, about two years ago, but due to a combined factor of losing my job (which devoted a large portion of my time to job hunting) and my father's declining health (which devoted a majority of the time NOT spent job hunting to looking after his needs), I wasn't able to get much past chapter four before I was forced to put reading the book on the back burner. Once things slowed down to a normal pace after a recently forced relocation, I wanted to pick up where I left off, but realized that in the haste to pack things for the move, my copy of Faerie Blood was lost somewhere in one of the boxes shoved away in the attic.  Suddenly, there was the revelation that book two, Bone Walker was now available, along with a well written and performed CD of accompanying music.  I realized, if I was going to read book two, I had two options, either dig through boxes upon boxes in the cold attic until I found my original copy, or just buy the bundle (I chose the latter). To my delight, my package arrived a few short days later, with each copy personally signed (an added bonus~ Thanks, Anna). Once things slowed to a more leisurely pace at work, I took to reading Faerie Blood between calls and on my breaks. I found the book completely enthralling, and had a hard time putting it down, and even fell asleep reading it a couple of times, waking up with the opened book upended on my face.  Tonight, I finished the book, and all I can say is WOW! This book is wonderfully written, taking the reader on a wildly exciting adventure in early twenty-first century Seattle, following the sudden transformation and "awakening" of the heroine, Kendis, through twists and turns of mystery and intrigue, and ELVES! I cannot say more without spoiling it for anyone, but the storyline is fantastically written, building the suspense to a near dizzying crescendo at the climax, and neatly wrapping everything up at the end. This book is well worth the read, and I cannot wait to see what adventure awaits me in book two, Bone Walker, which I will start tomorrow.  If this intrigues you, check out the chance to win a free signed copy of not only Faerie Blood, but also signed copies of Bone Walker and the accompanying CD here. In conclusion, I have but one thing to say, and that is Kudos to my friend Anna, who brought this work of art to us. Thank you, my friend, for sharing.

 

Poetry and Prose

Thanks to Kat, who was able to find some of my old poetry, I am able to post some of it online.  A lot of this was written 20 plus years ago, and during dark times in my life, and some dark times in the lives of some of my friends.  Enjoy:

The first poem, I wrote for my friend, Dria, who, at the time was in a place far from home, and far from friends, and in need of friendly support. There is more to the story, but it's too complicated to be told.

        "Adrianna"

 

Adrianna, with hair of flaxen gold,

Your eyes they tell of pains untold.

Wandering alone throughout life's trials,

I see you along the long weary miles.

You know that I'll never leave your side,

Without my friendship to be your guide.

I'll shine my light along your way

Throughout each dark and lonely day.

My friend, my love will never part

It remains for you inside my heart.

You're someone special, know that it's true.

I know there is someone who's looking for you.

And when he does, the stars brighter will shine

In the skies, in your eyes, from the love that's in mine,

My dear Adrianna, you've got treasures untold,

For in you I have a friend of pure gold.

 

        By David J. Stayduhar

        05 October 1993

        2:17 AM

 

The following was written during a particularly rough spot in my life, if it weren't for those friends that remained close to me and stayed true, I may not be here today.

 

        "The Darkness"

 

Look at me, I'm a failure.

My world's turned inside out.

My hopes for life are crushed.

No one seems to understand

What I'm going through.

They only choose to see

The parts of me they want to see.

Their ears can't hear my cries for help,

Or, if they do, they choose to ignore,

And turn their backs on me.

I'm all alone in this world,

Lost inside a darkness I cannot fight.

The darkness rejoices as it consumes me,

Overtaking my innermost self,

Overwhelming my soul, and destroying my heart.

Won't somebody help me?

I only want to be free

To spread my wings and fly again,

But I cannot find my wings.

My wounded heart cries.

It doesn't sing like it once did.

Will someone please set me free?

So I can lick my wounds and carry on,

And fly once more, like I did once before.

 

        By David J. Stayduhar

        24 October 1990

        11:45 AM

Here is a poem I just wrote while listening to DOFP and losing myself in memories...  I'm not sure if Bill will understand, but Dria knows exactly how I'm feeling, I think...

 

(Untitled)

 

Why am I here?

What is this place that is not my home?

Why did I leave there,

To come to this place where I feel so alone?

 

 I look all about me.

Memories, like fine china, fill the shelves on the walls

I look and remember

They draw me into yesterday, down dark and empty halls.

 

I do not belong here

In this time and place which to me have no meaning

But I cannot return there

It's a place that is long gone, A place of innocence and dreaming.

 

So therefore I stay

In a world not my own, full of emptiness and regrets

Where I'm forever reminded

Of happier times when I was free, Times I can never forget

 

 David J. Stayduhar

31 March 1995

5:35 AM

 

 Following is another written during the aforementioned dark period in my life.  Seemed like my creative juices flowed more freely then...  This one was inspired by Raistlin Majere, a character in the Dragonlance series, whose life seemed to mirror mine at the time.

       "Hourglass Eyes"

 

I look at the world through hourglass eyes,

And all that I see just withers and dies.

I see the same things each and every day.

I want to see life, but I only see decay.

I look at the flowers growing in the fields,

But barrenness is all that this sight of mine yields.

I see no joy, I see only sorrow.

All that I see will have no tomorrow.

I look at the children while they play,

But I see them as crippled, old, and grey.

Everything I see is either dying or dead.

Even the sun in the sky is cold and red.

I see everything as it passes with time,

All distorted images to these eyes of mine.

I see everything as death in disguise.

Oh, won't somebody please lift this curse from my eyes?

Remove it so that I can see life once again,

And grant me some peace, I am going insane.

I want to see sunshine and hear birds in the trees.

Somebody please take this infliction from me.

Take it away so once again I see life.

Let me see happiness instead of this strife.

I cry out for help, as into darkness I descend.

Nobody hears me, so the curse remains 'til the end.

 

        By David J. Stayduhar

        17 November 1990

        12:35 AM

 

"Searching"

 

As I sit here, I ponder,

Looking back at where I've gone,

Then foward, to where I've yet to go.

Memories both good and bad,

Thoughts of yesterdays gone by,

Remembering love found, then lost,

Thinking of love yet to be found,

Searching for peace within personal wars,

Sorting through chaos, hoping to find order,

Caught in a war in which I have no control,

Caught in the tempest and struggling to survive.

I live through one storm, only to be caught in another,

But I'm a survivor, I'll make it through,

Smarter and wiser, to live again.

 

    By David J. Stayduhar

        25 October 1990

        1:00 PM

 

The following was inspired by Elfquest characters, Skywise and Cutter, and the bond between a special friend and myself.

 

"For my soulmate"

 

One soul, two hearts

Always together, never to part.

One born of Earth, the other of Fire

Closer than kindred, burning with desire.

Each one their own, yet part of a whole.

Both of them sharing the very same soul.

 

 David J. Stayduhar

07 October, 1996

2:25 AM

 

 This one just came to me one afternoon, still dark times, but had a glimmer of hope and inspiration.

        "The Triumph of the Phoenix"

 

The lightning flashed; the thunder roared.

Two figures stood facing each other.

One longed for possession,

The other--to save a soul.

The one they both loved lay wounded on the ground,

A victim of this battle royal.

Tears steaked down the one man's face,

While the other flashed a hateful smile.

He knew the battle was already lost,

But still he fought to save her soul.

From the darkness that, even now, he faced.

Red robes and cape blowing in the wind,

He raised his voice to speak.

But the black-robed one, in all his hatred,

Silenced him with a scowl.

One was here to fight for Love,

The other was here to destroy.

While the wind-blown rain stung in his face,

The Red One fought back his tears.

His loved one was dying before his eyes,

The Dark One's evil consuming her soul.

He knew that he was powerless against his foe,

But still he found the strength to cast a final spell.

He summoned the lightning to him,

And the lightning consumed him.

The Dark One laughed at this folly.

His adversary sealed his own fate.

His evil laughter drowned out the thunder,

As he knelt to claim his prize.

But out of the ashes of his foe

Came a terrifying scream.

The Dark One began to tremble in unimagined fear,

As the Phoenix at him, in anger, flew.

He tried to cast an evil spell

To try to destroy the bird,

But the Phoenix emerged unscathed.

It absorbed the power of the spell,

As well as the power of the storm,

And continued to attack its hapless prey.

The Dark One tried to cast again,

But found his power drained.

The Phoenix had drained him of his magic,

And so he turned to flee.

The rain soaked ground was covered in mud,

And the Dark One slipped and fell.

The Phoenix, seeing his fallen prey,

Swooped down to finish the kill.

It seemed to scream in triumph,

As the Dark One screamed in fear,

And reaching out one taloned claw,

It tore out its victim's heart.

His life extinguished, the Dark One vanished,

And the Phoenix transformed.

The Red One stood in sorrowful triumph,

Vengence and victory were his, the battle won.

He knelt over his dying lover,

As his tears fell on her face.

His Love renewed her dying spirit,

As well as her dying soul.

She looked at him and smiled,

Her Love for him renewed.

Again, into the Phoenix, the Red One did transform,

And taking his loved one upon his back, into the sky did soar.

Their hearts were again as one, to live forevermore.

 

        By David J. Stayduhar

        23 October 1990

        3:00 PM

 

Untitled (or "it is finished...")

 

The battle is over

I've finally lost

I've got no strength left to fight

All my hopes have gone away

I've given all I could give

I'm left with nothing

my dreams are blown to dust

like ashes they've scattered

I surrender my life to the reaper

I pray he'll come for me soon

There is nothing for me here but sorrow

Grief, pain and hatred fill my soul

My love no longer has meaning

It, too, has left me stranded

with nothing to fall back on.

Nobody seems to care anymore.

least of all, those who should.

My "friends" have deserted me.

Left me to die all alone.

Where is Help when I need it?

I can't survive on my own.

I pray for love to find me again.

I pray to find my way home.

Please, somebody hear me.

tell me that hope still exists.

let my broken heart be mended.

let my dreams once again be fulfilled.

Show me the way to happiness.

So my heart can fly free once more!

 

        By David J. Stayduhar

        22 October 1990

        9:45 PM

 

The following was a tribute to friends found and friends lost, I think I can still name each person represented in this one (In Order): Myself, Heather W,  Doug B, Lisa H, Dria H, Tom N, Harold L, Tom V, Monica H, and Bill H. 

        Untitled

 

 Ten they were, following fate.

Each was his own, yet one with the whole.

Three were as one, out of the same womb born.

Another from darkness, into light, then darkness again.

One to nature's call did heed,

Whose lover followed the fighter's creed.

Another, to friends, was honor bound.

While one, to music, devoted no sight, but sound.

While his lover followed where'er he went.

And yet another did his best

At playing tricks, illusions and jest.

 
 

The leader, love scorned and all alone

A raging fire burning forever within his soul.

To Magic did he devote his life,

But trusting no one, to avoid the hurt.

His one love gone, to darkness turned,

So in his soul, the fire burned.

The pain he tried so hard to hide,

Still his friends know of the turmoil inside.

 

His sister to justice her life did devote,

To follow the paths of the gods she served.

Always caring for others as was her way,

She sought for equality and harmony.

Quiet and thoughtful, apart from the rest,

While helping others, she did her best.

Giving the best from her very heart,

While keeping her own life from falling apart.

 

Their darker brother, chaos he served.

Darker than night, like the Raven bird.

Enshrouded in darkness and mystery,

He served the darkest part of neutrality.

Always trouble did his magic bring,

He seemed to bring chaos to everything.

But still in his heart, some loving would find,

For this one cared for those of his kind.

 
 

Another to darkness, from light did she fall.

Heeding the tempting of Darkness' dread call.

Abandoning all to save only herself.

Betraying her friends while she was preserved.

Using the love of all those who cared

And turning to hatred, her dark side she bared.

Changing her ways of goodness to sin,

Leaving her lover to die from within.

 

 The next one, a druid from wilderness came,

Seeing all nature as one and the same.

Seeing the beauty in everything.

Striving to keep the balance in all things.

She walked the ways of truth and love,

Seeking her guidance from the gods above.

Where help was needed, she always was giving,

Reflecting her fondness for all that was living.

 

 The ranger, to fighting did take,

The only way he knew his living to make.

His love for the druid, one so sincere,

He knew that with her he saw everything clear.

Respect for his leader, and childhood friend,

Caused him to remain loyal 'til the end.

He knows that his friend is lonely inside,

So the ranger was always by his friend's side.

 

The knight, to honor, holds true.

While protecting the others from impending Evil.

To his friends he offers kindly advice,

But often his words are misinterpreted.

His friends know that he only means well,

He hates to seem them going through living hell.

Still honor he upholds until the end,

When living to help those whom he calls "friend."

 

Another to music his life did devote.

He played for the lonely and meak.

His sightless eyes saw more than the rest.

Because in his music he always saw the best.

His songs cheered the lonely,

His words calmed their fears.

He lived for his music,

He lived to dry all tears.

 

The barmaid, his lover, was always beside,

To give him encouragement, to be his guide.

She loved him so deeply, they were never apart.

His love was embedded inside of her heart.

She sang with his playing, her voice filled the night.

This is what gave him his unnatural sight.

Loving each other, always together,

They'll be there for each other--always, forever.

 

The last, looked down on by all,

A jester by trade, his puns would appall.

He tried to make everyone laugh and smile,

But to all of his friends, he was only a trial.

Downcast and ridiculed, he never fit in,

But still he would try to manage a grin.

However, no matter how stupid he seemed to be,

His companions put up with his company.

 

Ten they were, trying to get by.

For those that they loved and lost they would cry.

Three reunited, after so many years.

Another forsook all, for her--many tears.

Druid and fighter falling in love.

Still seeking favor in the gods above.

Knight still protecting those who swore true.

Minstrel relieving moods which were blue,

His lover remaining to guide his way,

The jester still trying to fit into the frame,

And still they remain friends 'til the end,

Through suff'ring and heartache, broken hearts that will mend.

 

        By David J. Stayduhar

        24 October 1990

        7:00 PM

 

There are more somewhere out there, and once I find them, I will share those as well.